Strength and the façade

     It's okay, even when it isn't. You are no failure. What you feel is valid, and you are not alone in those feelings. It does not matter what that person thinks of you (if they are, in fact, thinking of you). You are loved. Those who love you want nothing but the best for you. True, sometimes their idea of "the best" doesn't always match your own. It may be the exact opposite. I encourage you to push that aside and focus on the love that person has for you, the hope they have for your life, the potential they see in you. Anything else is noise. And that noise does not have to control your decisions, your life. You are the master of your own actions.

    You don't have to feel guilty for taking care of yourself, whether that involves cleaning a cut, going to rehab, seeing a therapist, eating a sandwich, sleeping in, icing a muscle. Why is it so normal to feel this guilt over such things? Do you feel you aren't deserving? Do you want to tough it out, to appear strong?

 That's a big one, isn't it, to be strong. I'm not here to tell you that you're strong. I'm telling you that you don't always have to be. That seems to be the number one encouragement we give people- "Oh, you're so strong." "Well, you're a strong person so you'll make it through." "Stay strong." … You don't have to stay strong. It's okay to release that notion for a while. What does "strong" even mean? Does it mean to push through no matter what? Does it mean to be tough? To hide how you're feeling and put on a brave face? Rub dirt in it? What does it all even mean? Whatever it means, it seems to be a hell of a lot of mental strain.

There is no need to compare yourself to other people, either. Odds are, you're receiving a viewpoint that is very subjective. *Social Media*. "Pics from our vacation!" "Baby arrived today, 7lbs and beautiful as ever <3." "I'm battling pneumonia and broke my ankle on the sidewalk today, but I still made it in to work. Like my granddaddy always said, toughen up Buttercup." "Those of you out there with your perfect lives have no idea what it's like to be me. Your so called problems are nothing. #thinkofothers #notallaboutyou." "He proposed and I said YES!!!"

These aren't all negative or anything. But put it all in perspective. Whatever they are saying, they're choosing to put it out there to be viewed. They want people to think about whatever it is, good or bad. And that's okay! It's fun to see pictures of France. It's wonderful that baby So&So is healthy. I'm glad you didn't crack your skull on the sidewalk, your granddaddy would be proud. No one's life is perfect. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

But be careful. These posts people make aren't formulas for life and how it should be. You don't have to contort your own life into these molds. It's fine if you aren't married, do whatever you want to do. No babies, no problem! You don't have to visit Hawaii to see something beautiful. And who knows, maybe one day you'll get to take that trip anyway. If you're sick, there's no shame in tending to it.

You don't have to be strong. Just be.